We (a human man, absolutely not 3 kobolds hiding inside a trenchcoat) attended a surface ritual of “moviegoing”. The ritual circle was in fact a cube but was called “Regal” so it must have been a very important cube – still not as good as a circle though. No mushrooms were growing in it, either.

This “moviegoing” ritual was also attended by a multitude of smaller humans who were all sticky and dressed in gaudy colors, with their servants – some larger humans – constantly trying to appease them with gifts of candy, soda and popcorn. Upon receiving these offerings the small humans would proceed to throw them away or at eachother, in a possible mating display that we have not yet fully understood.

We were forcibly uninvited after some minutes because Klok kept trying to claim the discarded candy, shouting “YOU ARE NOT WORTHY” at the smaller humans and their servants.

Roaming the surface streets in disgrace, we discovered a condemned apartment building behind a deli. The front door had 3 padlocks, 2 city notices, and 1 very cursed aura. We took this as a welcome mat.

Our new lair is Unit 2B, which has:

• One wall entirely missing (with water constantly dripping from above)
• A floor that slopes like a sad hill (with water constantly rising from below)
• An unplugged stove with something growing inside of it (and making strange, dripping sounds)

Once we have defeated a local rat king in an honorable duel to the death, Krak declared it “penthouse adjacent” and we have claimed it as our warren.

Most importantly: the unit came with an ancient, boxy TV which switches channels at random and seems to posses a certain sentience – it has switched to a cooking show just as we were about to feast on our defeated foes.

Technical Analysis:

• Visuals: Excellent texture. Peeling wallpaper, exposed pipework.
• Sound: Leaks and dripping that provide ambience. Occasional gunshot from nearby.
• Atmosphere: Homey.

Rat Tail Rating:

• Krak: 5/5 – A masterpiece.
• Klok: 5/5 – CLAIMED IN GLORIOUS COMBAT. IT IS THE BEST.
• Klik: 2/5 – No quote provided.

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