K.K. Trench Investigates: The Day the Ground Shook

While attempting to conjure cheese, we encountered a mighty surface-dwelling beast – a garbage truck performing a strange urban ritual! Join us as we master the sacred rite of offering relics.

We (100% of a single person, not 100% kobold three times) were attempting to conjure cheese through our previously-found relic of Amma Zone when the floor of our lair of 2B began to tremble horribly. At first we assumed it was merely Klok’s stomach protesting the lack of cheese but as the shaking would not cease we garbed ourselves in our robe of camouflage and ventured outside.

What we beheld would have paralyzed even the mightiest warrior with fear: a giant metal beast, its maw wide enough to swallow us whole, gorging itself and belching thick black smoke that made our eyes water. Two emissaries of the beast ran to and fro, heaving offerings into its crushing maw. Nothing was beneath this monster of metal as we saw its mighty jaws crush and consume everything by the dumpster-full and still come for more.

Terrified, we darted back into our lair and observed the beast’s advance from afar. However, after observing the feeding ritual further, we realized that the beast is in fact harmless – it appears to even be trained. Despite its seemingly-endless hunger it shows no hostility towards its handlers – even waiting patiently as they chat and greet other surface dwellers and exchange hand gestures with them.

It is then that we realized that this trained beast must not be some terrifying devourer but a simple beast of burden, performing its task diligently like the mold turning milk into cheese (at a mention of this, the ground rumbled again – it WAS Klok’s stomach, this time). We breathed a collective sigh of relief.

If we wish to maintain our lives here on the above-world then we too must participate in this ritual cleansing – quickly, we have gathered some old relics from around our lair. We then stuffed them into an old box of Amma Zone and rushed it to the edge of the walk-space, right in the beast’s path. Then we ran back to our lair and hid, observing.

As expected, the beast’s handlers have picked up our box and made an offering of it to the beast – and it accepted, with a ground-shaking burp and an expulsion of black smoke (Klik now believes the smoke is merely a signal to the town that they are being kept safe by this beast and possibly by others like it). We were elated – another surface ritual mastered!

For a while we have watched the beast as it proceeded crunching, burping and belching until it was lost to the horizon. We made a vow to always be ready with offerings should it come again and perhaps in time we might even be allowed to pet it. Krak says he would like that.

Rat Tail Ratings:

  • Krak: 6/5 – “Maybe with enough offerings, we too might ride this mighty beast!”
  • Klok: 5/5 – “OUR OFFERING ACCEPTED! OUR LIVES SPARED! BEST OUTCOME!”
  • Klik: 5/5 – (Has drawn a sketch of the beast with suspiciously bright colors and surrounded by hearts)

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