K.K. Trench Researches: The Offering And The Canines

Hungry and out of currency papers, we discovered a strange surface ritual involving noise, bottle-smashing, and the gathering of tribute. Our success led to the acquisition of steaming mystery canines, now classified as an essential surface-world food.

We (one regular person, not three hungry kobolds hiding in a trenchcoat) were foraging for food – after multiple visits to the Temple of McDon-Ald, our found card of credit seems to have been “declined” – clearly it has run out of whatever arcane ritual energy powered it. We thanked the relic for its service and honorably discarded it.

As we were wandering down streets and alleys, Klik’s sense of smell once more took the lead – this time to a glowing hearth-on-wheels operated by a large, burly surface dweller with glorious facial hair. His hearth had the aroma of meat about it and words that read “Hot Dogs” – while we have not seen any canines, we did notice how other surface dwellers would approach this hearth and exchange currency papers for something that smelled delicious.

Clearly we must acquire some of these steaming canines for ourselves, just as soon as we gather the required barter for the man and his beard most flowing.

While we were debating the proper ways to obtain currency papers we heard a terrible clamor coming from just around the corner. We turned to investigate and saw another surface-dweller – clearly a fellow lost soul, with his body marked with strange inks and pierced with shiny metals – making a terrible wailing on some sort of device.

Unpleasant as it was, it seemed a part of some gifting ritual. As he made his wailing, passing surface dwellers would place shiny metal disks and currency papers at his feet – clearly tribute to this lost soul.

Our path was made clear: we rushed back to our lair of 2B and returned with noise-making devices: Cans to kick against a wall, Klok’s trusty pipe to bang on the ground and some other devices that made a most satisfying sound when smashed. If wailing and clamor was what this ritual was about, wailing and clamor we shall make!

At first, it seemed we made some mistake in the ritual – the surface dwellers avoided us and mumbled “why is this weirdo smashing bottles?”. But after a while, a small group – as tattooed and pierced as the one we saw – gathered around. They even brought us more bottles to smash, which we took as a clear sign that the ritual was finally working.

Eventually we amassed a small pile of currency papers with which to barter. We returned to the hearth-on-wheels, triumphant and bearing papers. The vendor gave us a puzzled look – but we were prepared for this moment and carefully repeated the words of barter we heard before: “Ey, make me three with everything“.

Thus the barter was complete and we returned to our lair, carrying these “hot dogs” (Klik says the dog smell is very faint but we decided not to investigate what exactly this delicacy was made of).

Back in our lair, we devoured the steamed mystery canines (Klok ate the paper bag as well and declared it excellent). With our bellies full and our ritual successful, we recorded the technique for future use. “Hot dogs” are indeed an excellent source of surface nourishment and we even have some currency papers and shiny disks left over – opening the way for even grander exploits.

Rat Tail Rating:

  • Krak: 5/5 – “Another surface ritual mastered!”
  • Klok: 5/5 – “BOTTLES SMASHED. BELLIES FULL. VICTORY!”
  • Klik: 5/5 – (Very loud chewing)

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