Greetings, surface readers!

I am K.K. Trench — esteemed critic, snack enthusiast, and certainly one entire adult human male who is in no way, shape or form just three kobolds stacked inside a suspiciously long coat.

I come to you from the deepest depths of cultural knowledge, ancient filmic tradition, and also possibly a subway maintenance hatch nearby. Through rigorous study, spirited debate (internal), and occasional popcorn theft, I — K.K. Trench — have developed a refined taste for cinema, video games, surface customs, and loud explosion movies.

What I Offer You (Yes, You):

• Movie and Game Reviews: Deep analysis from multiple entirely independent yet strangely synchronized perspectives.
• Surface Ritual Documentation: How-to guides on elevators, escalators, vending machines, and the terrifying eldritch horror known as the “air fryer.”
• Trap Design Tutorials: For legal reasons, these are for entertainment only and not meant to be replicated in apartment complexes.

Rating System

All reviewed content is judged by a precise, emotionally charged scoring method:

• 1 to 5 Rat Tails (higher is better)
• Bonus for achievements like:
  • “Explodes Nicely”
  • “Tragic Lack of Cave Scenes”
  • “Mammal Kissing Ritual Occurred”
  • “Would Watch Again If Paid in Jerky”

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Are you really just one person?
A: Yes. Absolutely. Yup.

Q: Why do you speak in plurals sometimes?
A: Typing error. Very normal surface phenomenon.

Q: Why do you smell like sulfur and warm rust?
A: Cologne choice. Urban. Masculine. Powerful.

Q: Can I interview you?
A: Interviews only conducted via email, rock scratching, or sewer whisper.

Q: Do you live in a trenchcoat?
A: No. It is a fashion choice. I wear it because I like it.

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Like what we do? Why not buy us a highly caffeinated drink that is sure to have no negative effect on our biology as we’re absolutely a human guy: https://buymeacoffee.com/3kobolds